Oh, good lord. Let’s take these one at a time, shall we?
Jada Pinkett Smith: You are forty, and this is 2012. Your outfit was designed for a fifteen-year-old in 1986. See the inconsistency? I understand that the Kids Choice Awards are an opportunity to let loose a little, but that does not justify anything you’ve got going on with that outfit.
Willow Smith: Your outfit isn’t so bad, but it’s completely overaccessorized, and I’m pretty sure that yin-yang went out of style with your mom’s rayon jumper. Also, I’m sorry that you clearly now regret shaving your head, but that doesn’t mean you can wear that tiny bowler hat until it grows out. (Aaaaaaaaand I told you so.)
Jaden Smith: Lighten up. It’s just the Kids Choice Awards, not an arraignment. And tie your shoes.